In the next few posts, let's look at some of the marriage quotes that have been collected together on this blog.
The first one is:
"Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side." - Zig Ziglar
It took me longer than it should have to REALLY get that my wife and I were on the same side. I recall some of the strange notions I was operating with:
"I need to win this argument no-matter-what."
"If I persist long enough or sulk loudly enough, she'll give in."
"She just doesn't understand how important this is to ME."
There were other strange notions, but let's just say I finally got the idea my wife was not a member of the opposing team. She and I were (and are) on the same team. Sometimes this idea gets lost or diminished. I'm sure there are a variety of reasons this happens, but one simple solution is to just step back and look at our spouse and say: "Hey, we're on the same side. Let's work this out together."
The next marriage quote is:
"There is no remedy for love but to love more." - Goethe
Wow! That one doesn't seem to give much wiggle-room, does it?
When you feel compelled to reduce your affinity for your spouse, take a different tack and increase your affinity. I realize this sounds awfully easy for me to suggest and not so easy to do, but here is a great tool that will help you accomplish this.
When the going gets tough, Goethe is basically saying use MORE affinity, not less.
And the final marriage quote for this post is:
"I got gaps; you got gaps; we fill each other's gaps." - Rocky
Okay, I realize this is from the movie, but I think the quote is great!
Each of us has areas that are not quite yet in perfect working order. In a relationship, we have two basic choices on how to deal with these "gaps":
- We could focus on how these areas are a problem or
- We could concentrate on what each of us does well
I am not suggesting we ignore the "gaps." They are what they are. Each of us would like to minimize or eventually get rid of these areas where we feel we're not performing well. In the meantime, Spouse A can help Spouse B (and vice-versa) by filling the gaps.
Rocky definitely tried to fill Adrian's gaps and Adrian was intent on returning the favor.
Something to learn there.
Very well compiled article.
I think you have hit the nail on the head with those quotes... all of those are very common that i come across...
If couples can learn to rectify just these issues.. the marriage success rate will really shoot up :)
Posted by: Counseling Psychologist | October 21, 2008 at 09:14 AM